Quarantine Blues

Me+with+my+horse%2C+Scout.

Me with my horse, Scout.

Travis Flippo, writer

 In the quarantine, few things are on one’s mind. Usually from a 24-hour period, I do anywhere from one to three activities. I have since tried to vary my routine, bringing the grand total to around ~4ish different things to do per day. The act of keeping even the most healthy members of society locked in their homes comforts me, while presumably the dead and sick walk the streets. I understand it is in everyone’s “best interest” to remain safe and secure, but this is the only way how? Surely the all-powerful deity that is the United States Federal Government can come up with something better than “stay at home”. With limitless resources and untapped riches at their disposal, inaction is the only option it seems. While I sit at home playing Grand Theft Auto like many red-blooded Americans, expecting the world to get better, the government of our great nation has got us right where they want us. We are holed up in our houses, not going anywhere, and paying attention to newspapers for once.   

My favorite part is the people that feel the need to tweet “STAY IN YOUR HOMES” as if they’re doing some extraordinary service that I wouldn’t have already heard from every single news source since this whole debacle began. I don’t know how to react to a gigantic crisis such as this, since I never lived through a mismanaged national emergency because Roosevelt died in office before he could see his whole plan through. My over/under is another month until we see some Rodney King-level rioting.

Eric Clapton’s “Blackie” Stratocaster at the Rock Hall, taken one day before nationwide quarantine.

My final days before the quarantine went into effect were spent in the lovely city of Cleveland, as I was on vacation to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It was a very enjoyable trip and I saw many pieces of memorabilia that I did not know existed, such as the Hendrix family couch that Jimi used to chill on. That very day, my brother and I watched Sportscenter as the NBA suspended the rest of its season. The weight of what was going to soon occur would not register with me until Spring Training was cancelled entirely. It seemed as soon as I got home, everywhere was shut down with little notice. I witnessed the toilet paper crisis with an apathetic “eh”, but as soon as I found out that the entire state of Texas abandoned the hope of finishing the school year, I was ecstatic. Those surrounding me seem to have lost their minds. Not a day goes by without seeing someone post about how they wish they were in Algebra 2 instead of their own house. Get real. I have no solution for you people besides lithium.

So what should America do to retain her sanity? I hear liquor stores are still open. No sports though. Still. That’s kinda a bummer since ESPN has to air NBA players playing each other in 2K brackets. I know I’ll stay playing MLB the Show since Opening Day will be in October this year. Life seems to get more frustrating by the day doesn’t it? Makes you feel like we’re all living in The Shining and we’re one hedge maze away from total economic collapse. I mean when was the last time Vegas closed a casino? What since Kennedy died? This whole shtick smells funny to me, and I’m determined to find the root cause of this conspiracy if it kills me in a Clinton-style accident. 

Since I stepped outside for the first time in days it seems like air quality has vastly improved due to the lack of daily commuting and the excess idling of 300 million 1997 Dodge Neons. I may be exaggerating but I can hear the birds are chirping once more. I also now know that I should have bought stock in Zoom Video Communications since it seems like every meme on this side of the internet is free advertising for this thing. I am giddy at the thought of retrospect to the overreaction of millions of Americans in the slightest hint of pressure on society. I think it truly shows how many people believe our system is just one little push away from total anarchy.

But hey, there must be a bright side. I may never set foot in Saginaw High School ever again. The mere thought of that possibility has me with outstretched arms like I just escaped from Shawshank. Graduation and prom are now postponed until something like July. The cancellation of major senior year events are the most perfect form of irony I have ever had the privilege to witness. My peers on Twitter are forced to weep and moan over missing out on things I never wanted to do in the first place. All I can do is laugh. Call me negative and sardonic and I will agree with you. But man, senior year and it’s all over before I know it. Well we had a good run didn’t we. What a long, strange trip it’s been.